Sunday, December 26, 2010

over the river and through the woods to the wrong house grandmother goes??????

OVER THE RIVER AND THROUGH THE WOODS TO THE WRONG HOUSE GRANDMOTHER GOES???
(thank you Kevin for the title)



So can I talk about how much of a failure I am to the blog world. I totally forgot I even had a blog with how much has been going on in my life. I have probably had one of the most horrible life changing semesters ever and am now starting to question everything I have chosen for my life path except the final destination.I know I want to be a performer in the theater no matter what anyone tells me it is my passion. I have never found anything in this world that I love more. I may love other things equally but that is ok because I believe you can love more than one thing. I could not imagine my life without theater and to think that anyone had me second guessing that for even a second is crazy. I have been battling with what I was going to do with my future semesters and I woke up one night and had an epiphany. There is a reason God has put this drive and passion in my heart. Since I was 8 years old I have longed to be in the theater. That is my final destination to be a happy and successful performer in musical theater. Because of this destination I have decided that it is time for me to open a new chapter in this book that we call life. Its time to flip from Chapter 20 Liberty year 3 to Chapter 21 search for a future. I know that sounds cheesy but that is so true. As I go into this next year I will not worry about what other people think I should be doing in my life. There will be some directors that like you and some that don't, welcome to theater. That is not going to shut me down. This business is about giving it you all and I always do. Sometimes a perfect audition is not enough because there are some people in life you will never please.Now onto a very joyous part of this post Christmas.
I was so blessed this Christmas to be able to celebrate Jesus Christ with my church family. I had the opportunity to share a solo that night that truly touched my heart. I have heard constant words of praise from it and that is truly awesome but how do you respond to that when I want that praise to be going to God. I want to be a humble servant and allow everyone to know how glad I was that God used me to touch them. But I also want them to be able to look past the, "oh you have a beautiful voice that was great" and be able to say, "wow that really touched me praise God for the gift he has given you". Because that is how I feel praise you for this gift God. I consider it a blessing and honor to be able to share about you through song.Now onto my Christmas day.

Christmas was pretty much a constant crazy first on Christmas eve we always have this family part and for the past 3 years it has been at my Aunts. Well my grandma decided that she wanted to get there right away after church so she had some friends drop her off. Well she tells them how to get there and they let her out. She goes to the door and knocks noticed the door is unlocked lets herself in a waives goodbye to her ride. They pull out and a little girl comes up to her in the house.. Grandma looks around and says she thinks she is in the wrong house but he little girl reassures her she is not and to come on in. Grandma walks into this house and realizes that this is clearly not the right place says something again and the littler girl again says no no this is the right place. It is not until she looks s at the furniture she realizes actually that this is wrong. so the people let her call my aunt who's phone is answered by my cousin who messes with her until he hears I am in the wrong place. He at first jokes no your not , then he realizes she is actually at the wrong house. Needless to say interesting night. Now to the exact Christmas schedule.

8-3:30 work
4:00-8:30 church Christmas eve service's
9:00-10:00 presents with Mom
10:00-12:00 Christmas Eve Party(the one Grandma could not find)
12:30-9am sleep
9am-11:30 wake up and open gifts at dads
12-3 Grandma Sylvia's
3-9 Grandma Virginia's
9-12 James and Allyson's
12:30 BED


So imagine in the midst of this schedule a hospital trip...So Grandpa was draining the potatoes slipped and poured boiling water all over his hands. You have never heard so many people yelling. Everyone wanted to look at it or get him to get out of the kitchen and for some reason he wanted to stay and keep helping grandma now, that is dedication. But luckily After the family calmed down someone convinced him to go to the emergency room. You could tell grandpa was in pain so they my uncle him down to join the many other holiday fiasco injuries. He has second degree burns and when he arrived home was on enough drugs to kill a horse.

I LOVE CHRISTMAS lol It was crazy hectic as always but I was blessed. And you know that wish list a shared a while ago? I got almost everything on it. Including a camera so, I will be able to share actual photos I have taken with you all!!!!! I am going to make a list for you all since I love list of

5 of the awesome gifts I received!!!!!!
Nikon Cool Pics
I was so happy to get a digital camera. Mine has been broken for a while now and was truly blessed to get this to officially begin to document life again. Thank you Kevin for standing out in the cold black Friday you asked me if it was worth it and I say TOTALLY ps: this was on my things I want but prolly won't get list a while back
Glitter Toms
These were also on that prolly won't get list but my awesome little brother got these for me. I love them and can not wait to wear them all the time. Plus he helped someone else out with this gift. Now a child in a third world country will have shoes to protect their feet.
Miche Bag
This is one gift that I had said I really was not sure I would want but now that I have this bag I love it I think it is good for anyone who can not keep a clean purse and likes to change up their look frequently. The inside has a lot of pockets to help you keep things organized and the outside is free to change in 15 seconds any day!!
CLOTHS and MAKEUP
I got so many new outfits for Christmas I was so excited. I am officially styling from head to toe in forever 21. AS for makeup I got 7 eyeliners, a 40 color eyeshadow :), and countless nail polish. Also I will be shopping later using my Sephora gift card!!!! So look out a new favorite products may be coming your way.
A day full of family
This was the best part about the day. I got to spend it with my family who I don't get to see near enough. Although it included lots of driving, grandma getting lost, and a trip to the hospital the day was so awesome!!!

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Zechariah 10:12




Well I apologize for my lack of blogging recently. Life has been exceptionally hard and I feel like all I do now is wake up cry and then go to bed. The past few days have been the best in 2 weeks. I just can not wait for winter break. I have so many big life decisions coming up and after not passing my Sophomore hearing it has been a constant battle of what do I want to do with me life? Last week started the journey to find a new school. As I told my friend today its not Liberty that I want to get away from but, we are made to go out into the world and here I am not doing that. Liberty has been such a blessing and done so much for me but now I am a sharpened tool of God and it is time for me to go out and join the battle. What that means in a nutshell is that I am looking for schools to possibly transfer to. I want a small school possibly still a private college were I will have more opportunities to use my talents and passions and grow in them while being able to minister

As for life being hard it just seems like nothing is going right for me now and no matter how I play my cards I just can't win. I wish life was just black and white and everything made perfect sense but it does not. Friendships are confusing, school is hard, and failure hurts that is the realization of the week. I am glad that I have good outlets for my troubles but still I am struggling. I should be getting into the word and praying and I realized as I was typing this I am failing. I am running to the easy comforts of the world but not the comfort of God. That is one hard thing to admit but hopefully now that I have put it out there it will keep me accountable. As I was struggling with what to do and where to go and what Gods plan was for my life a friend of mine gave me a really encouraging verse

I will make my people strong with power from me! They will go wherever they wish, and wherever they go, they will be under my personal care. Zechariah 10:12


I realized after reading this that whatever decision I make including leaving Liberty will be ok because God will always be with me, taking care of me. I also realized that there is no need to struggle with what I will do with my future I have know since I was five I am going to be an actress. It is my life goal and just because some people can't tell it is my passion and heart does not mean anything because God can tell. He knows the desires of my heart and those are also his desires!!!


Auditions are tomorrow for Liberty's shows and I am so ready. I just hope that the fact that I bombed my Sophomore hearing does not effects my casting. Also tomorrow is band banquet busy day for a busy stressed out girl :( Then preparing all the time for my meeting Thursday at Lynchburg college and finals, so much to do before break