Zechariah 10:12

Well I apologize for my lack of blogging recently. Life has been exceptionally hard and I feel like all I do now is wake up cry and then go to bed. The past few days have been the best in 2 weeks. I just can not wait for winter break. I have so many big life decisions coming up and after not passing my Sophomore hearing it has been a constant battle of what do I want to do with me life? Last week started the journey to find a new school. As I told my friend today its not Liberty that I want to get away from but, we are made to go out into the world and here I am not doing that. Liberty has been such a blessing and done so much for me but now I am a sharpened tool of God and it is time for me to go out and join the battle. What that means in a nutshell is that I am looking for schools to possibly transfer to. I want a small school possibly still a private college were I will have more opportunities to use my talents and passions and grow in them while being able to minister

As for life being hard it just seems like nothing is going right for me now and no matter how I play my cards I just can't win. I wish life was just black and white and everything made perfect sense but it does not. Friendships are confusing, school is hard, and failure hurts that is the realization of the week. I am glad that I have good outlets for my troubles but still I am struggling. I should be getting into the word and praying and I realized as I was typing this I am failing. I am running to the easy comforts of the world but not the comfort of God. That is one hard thing to admit but hopefully now that I have put it out there it will keep me accountable. As I was struggling with what to do and where to go and what Gods plan was for my life a friend of mine gave me a really encouraging verse

I will make my people strong with power from me! They will go wherever they wish, and wherever they go, they will be under my personal care. Zechariah 10:12

I realized after reading this that whatever decision I make including leaving Liberty will be ok because God will always be with me, taking care of me. I also realized that there is no need to struggle with what I will do with my future I have know since I was five I am going to be an actress. It is my life goal and just because some people can't tell it is my passion and heart does not mean anything because God can tell. He knows the desires of my heart and those are also his desires!!!

Auditions are tomorrow for Liberty's shows and I am so ready. I just hope that the fact that I bombed my Sophomore hearing does not effects my casting. Also tomorrow is band banquet busy day for a busy stressed out girl :( Then preparing all the time for my meeting Thursday at Lynchburg college and finals, so much to do before break