over the river and through the woods to the wrong house grandmother goes??????

OVER THE RIVER AND THROUGH THE WOODS TO THE WRONG HOUSE GRANDMOTHER GOES???

(thank you Kevin for the title)

So can I talk about how much of a failure I am to the blog world. I totally forgot I even had a blog with how much has been going on in my life. I have probably had one of the most horrible life changing semesters ever and am now starting to question everything I have chosen for my life path except the final destination.I know I want to be a performer in the theater no matter what anyone tells me it is my passion. I have never found anything in this world that I love more. I may love other things equally but that is ok because I believe you can love more than one thing. I could not imagine my life without theater and to think that anyone had me second guessing that for even a second is crazy. I have been battling with what I was going to do with my future semesters and I woke up one night and had an epiphany. There is a reason God has put this drive and passion in my heart. Since I was 8 years old I have longed to be in the theater. That is my final destination to be a happy and successful performer in musical theater. Because of this destination I have decided that it is time for me to open a new chapter in this book that we call life. Its time to flip from Chapter 20 Liberty year 3 to Chapter 21 search for a future. I know that sounds cheesy but that is so true. As I go into this next year I will not worry about what other people think I should be doing in my life. There will be some directors that like you and some that don't, welcome to theater. That is not going to shut me down. This business is about giving it you all and I always do. Sometimes a perfect audition is not enough because there are some people in life you will never please.Now onto a very joyous part of this post Christmas.
I was so blessed this Christmas to be able to celebrate Jesus Christ with my church family. I had the opportunity to share a solo that night that truly touched my heart. I have heard constant words of praise from it and that is truly awesome but how do you respond to that when I want that praise to be going to God. I want to be a humble servant and allow everyone to know how glad I was that God used me to touch them. But I also want them to be able to look past the, "oh you have a beautiful voice that was great" and be able to say, "wow that really touched me praise God for the gift he has given you". Because that is how I feel praise you for this gift God. I consider it a blessing and honor to be able to share about you through song.Now onto my Christmas day.

Christmas was pretty much a constant crazy first on Christmas eve we always have this family part and for the past 3 years it has been at my Aunts. Well my grandma decided that she wanted to get there right away after church so she had some friends drop her off. Well she tells them how to get there and they let her out. She goes to the door and knocks noticed the door is unlocked lets herself in a waives goodbye to her ride. They pull out and a little girl comes up to her in the house.. Grandma looks around and says she thinks she is in the wrong house but he little girl reassures her she is not and to come on in. Grandma walks into this house and realizes that this is clearly not the right place says something again and the littler girl again says no no this is the right place. It is not until she looks s at the furniture she realizes actually that this is wrong. so the people let her call my aunt who's phone is answered by my cousin who messes with her until he hears I am in the wrong place. He at first jokes no your not , then he realizes she is actually at the wrong house. Needless to say interesting night. Now to the exact Christmas schedule.

8-3:30 work
4:00-8:30 church Christmas eve service's
9:00-10:00 presents with Mom
10:00-12:00 Christmas Eve Party(the one Grandma could not find)
12:30-9am sleep
9am-11:30 wake up and open gifts at dads
12-3 Grandma Sylvia's
3-9 Grandma Virginia's
9-12 James and Allyson's
12:30 BED

So imagine in the midst of this schedule a hospital trip...So Grandpa was draining the potatoes slipped and poured boiling water all over his hands. You have never heard so many people yelling. Everyone wanted to look at it or get him to get out of the kitchen and for some reason he wanted to stay and keep helping grandma now, that is dedication. But luckily After the family calmed down someone convinced him to go to the emergency room. You could tell grandpa was in pain so they my uncle him down to join the many other holiday fiasco injuries. He has second degree burns and when he arrived home was on enough drugs to kill a horse.

I LOVE CHRISTMAS lol It was crazy hectic as always but I was blessed. And you know that wish list a shared a while ago? I got almost everything on it. Including a camera so, I will be able to share actual photos I have taken with you all!!!!! I am going to make a list for you all since I love list of

5 of the awesome gifts I received!!!!!!
Nikon Cool Pics
I was so happy to get a digital camera. Mine has been broken for a while now and was truly blessed to get this to officially begin to document life again. Thank you Kevin for standing out in the cold black Friday you asked me if it was worth it and I say TOTALLY ps: this was on my things I want but prolly won't get list a while back
Glitter Toms
These were also on that prolly won't get list but my awesome little brother got these for me. I love them and can not wait to wear them all the time. Plus he helped someone else out with this gift. Now a child in a third world country will have shoes to protect their feet.
Miche Bag
This is one gift that I had said I really was not sure I would want but now that I have this bag I love it I think it is good for anyone who can not keep a clean purse and likes to change up their look frequently. The inside has a lot of pockets to help you keep things organized and the outside is free to change in 15 seconds any day!!
CLOTHS and MAKEUP
I got so many new outfits for Christmas I was so excited. I am officially styling from head to toe in forever 21. AS for makeup I got 7 eyeliners, a 40 color eyeshadow :), and countless nail polish. Also I will be shopping later using my Sephora gift card!!!! So look out a new favorite products may be coming your way.
A day full of family
This was the best part about the day. I got to spend it with my family who I don't get to see near enough. Although it included lots of driving, grandma getting lost, and a trip to the hospital the day was so awesome!!!

Zechariah 10:12

Well I apologize for my lack of blogging recently. Life has been exceptionally hard and I feel like all I do now is wake up cry and then go to bed. The past few days have been the best in 2 weeks. I just can not wait for winter break. I have so many big life decisions coming up and after not passing my Sophomore hearing it has been a constant battle of what do I want to do with me life? Last week started the journey to find a new school. As I told my friend today its not Liberty that I want to get away from but, we are made to go out into the world and here I am not doing that. Liberty has been such a blessing and done so much for me but now I am a sharpened tool of God and it is time for me to go out and join the battle. What that means in a nutshell is that I am looking for schools to possibly transfer to. I want a small school possibly still a private college were I will have more opportunities to use my talents and passions and grow in them while being able to minister

As for life being hard it just seems like nothing is going right for me now and no matter how I play my cards I just can't win. I wish life was just black and white and everything made perfect sense but it does not. Friendships are confusing, school is hard, and failure hurts that is the realization of the week. I am glad that I have good outlets for my troubles but still I am struggling. I should be getting into the word and praying and I realized as I was typing this I am failing. I am running to the easy comforts of the world but not the comfort of God. That is one hard thing to admit but hopefully now that I have put it out there it will keep me accountable. As I was struggling with what to do and where to go and what Gods plan was for my life a friend of mine gave me a really encouraging verse

I will make my people strong with power from me! They will go wherever they wish, and wherever they go, they will be under my personal care. Zechariah 10:12

I realized after reading this that whatever decision I make including leaving Liberty will be ok because God will always be with me, taking care of me. I also realized that there is no need to struggle with what I will do with my future I have know since I was five I am going to be an actress. It is my life goal and just because some people can't tell it is my passion and heart does not mean anything because God can tell. He knows the desires of my heart and those are also his desires!!!

Auditions are tomorrow for Liberty's shows and I am so ready. I just hope that the fact that I bombed my Sophomore hearing does not effects my casting. Also tomorrow is band banquet busy day for a busy stressed out girl :( Then preparing all the time for my meeting Thursday at Lynchburg college and finals, so much to do before break

vicodin and tryptophan

I am so glad to be home!!! So far break has been very eventful I got to go out with my cousin and have an awesome time with her at Easton and attend my young adult small group at church. The rest of my break has been filled with trips to the dentist. I have spent most of my break with Dr. Bang lol and now have a fake tooth and drugs. Tomorrow I will hopefully go back to work and get back to normal. I am trying to be very factual with this blog because I am highly drugged and have no idea what I am talking about lol. So hopefully I can provide a more interesting read tomorrow. I just wanted to let blog world know I am safe at home in Ohio and that marching band is not going to play offs :( which means I have actually had my last game. Don't worry I did retail therapy for that and my Sophomore hearing. Followed by a 40 dollar makeup return to Macy's. I guess not everyone sees the use in awesome 20 dollar mascara :)

missing teeth and band

So earlier this week I said that this week could not get any worse. Being me and knowing my life I probably should not have said that. Today was definitely eventful I started off the day full of emotion literally everything reminded me that this was my last game and made me cry. I went to guard and did just as I said, sat on the 50 and said goodbye to life as I know it now. I had no idea though that this day would prove to be memorable for more than one reason. This morning while doing our run through I knocked out my tooth and cut my lip.
So all day today I walked around with a missing tooth and a swollen lip. Other than the fact that I was missing a tooth I had a perfect show. I definitely left it all on the field tonight and as soon as I threw my flag down at the end of the show and did the final step I became a wreck. All the emotion leading up to the game that day had been bottling up inside and I could not stop crying for about 20 minutes. I know there is life after band but it just did not feel like it at the time every time I made eye contact with friends, looked at the field, or got a hug the tears just came back. I was so glad that my family came up to see me for this game I really needed them. As soon as I got back to the stands after half time my family was standing there waiting for me. They really comforted me I told my mom that if this had to be my last game I could walk away saying I did my best. So now a real new chapter in my life begins one of new activities and new teeth :)

Dear LU band,

I just want to thank all of you for what you have done for my college experience so far. From freshman year till now you have all played a huge roll in my life. I remember coming in as a scared freshman to guard camp and leaving that week starting school more clued in than any other freshman on campus. The family of marching band is one that I will never be able to replace. But I wanted let everyone of you know how important and amazing you are. It is so hard to believe that when august rolls around I will not be coming back with every other girl to guard camp. For you girls specifically you have all been awesome this season. I could not have picked a better group of girls to have my last season with. You are all very talented and gave me countless awesome shows. I love you girls!!!! I am so glad I have had this opportunity to be a part of something so uplifting. I really do love each and everyone of you. Even though we will never march together again this is not goodbye friends in band it is just goodbye band.

Thank you for an awesome last season,

C

Will Never Be The Same

I will never be the same again,
I can never return, I've closed the door.
I will walk apart, I'll run the race
And I will never be the same again.

I will never be the same again,
I can never return, I've closed the door.
I will walk apart, I'll run the race
And I will never be the same again.

Fall like fire, soak like rain,
Flow like mighty waters, again and again.
Sweep away the darkness, burn away the chaff,
And let a flame burn to glorify Your name.

There are higher heights, there are deeper seas,
Whatever you need to do, Lord do in me.
The Glory of God fills my life,
And I will never be the same again.

Fall like fire, soak like rain,
Flow like mighty waters, again and again.
Sweep aways the darkness, burn away the chaff
And let a flame burn to glorify Your name.

Fall like fire, soak like rain,
Flow like mighty waters, again and again.
Sweep away the darkness, burn away the chaff,
And let a flame burn to glorify Your name.

I will never be the same again,
I can never return, I've closed the door.
I will walk the path, I will run the race
And I will never be the same again.
And I will never be the same again.
And I will never be the same again.

Band has made an amazing impact on my life and without it I will never be the same again. It has changed me for the better and I am excited to see what God has in store for my future since right now I have no idea!!!!!

IT OVER :( time to sit on the 50 and cry

Well tomorrow is my last game. It is hard to believe this is really happening. Today at my last practice I gave the devotional to the band. While sharing what God had laid on my heart I found myself fighting back tears with these words. "As of right now this is my last year in marching band and tomorrow is my last game. I find myself asking the question is there life after band??? And honestly I don't know. I mean this has been my life for 9 years." As I said those words I could feel myself loosing it but I pulled it together. Band means so much to me the friendships and memories I have built here are irreplaceable. I spoke on courage to the band because it is something I am struggling with right now and just all the time to be honest. I may not seem like a timid person but really I am. A lot of my life is driven by fear because I am an over thinker and never want to offend or disappoint anyone. I encouraged the band to live by Philippians 1:20, "I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed but I will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ is exalted in my body whether that be through triumph or defeat." This verse drives me on a daily basis to know that I do not have to fear and God is always in control no matter what the situation is. So as I leave this safety net and move into my next year without band I will not fear. Because God did not call us to be that way he called us to take courage in him and stand against our enemies. Although we have safety in numbers I am confident that I can stand alone in Christ as well. I have no idea how I will behave tomorrow after my last show, my guess is inconsolable, but what I do know is that I will go on and come off without fear in my heart.


Also to explain the title every time I get really bad news it is tradition for me to sit on the 50 and cry. I know that is weird but it has become a safe place for me. So if you see me on the 50 don't worry the tears are tears of accomplishment.


Also to top off this broken heart I did not pass my Sophomore hearing because I bombed my monologue and interview. I am not sure what come over me but I delivered the worst most memo dramatic performance of my life. I guess the pressure of the rest of my life just bleed over into that. I will share more about it later on the upside my family was here to comfort me the next day and there is always a second shot next semester.

Relationships

RELATIONSHIPS

Why is it that people base their relationship with you off of your relationship with others? Such as if you are friends with one group of people you better not dare associate yourself with other groups. We are all classified from a very young age as to what group we will be in. I have always been a floater I never really fell into any category. I had friends all over and I like to think I am still the same way. Relationships are necessary for us to live. We build relationships with others because without them we are alone and depressed. Out of all the people I know I am the one who bases their life most off of relationships. I need them, I rarely am alone and when I am I don't always like it. Relationships encourage me to do things I would never do. I am a shy not always confident girl who hides behind a loud outgoing persona. That is really hard for me to admit but it is true. People always say how outgoing I am but the outgoing is just a mask just like being talkative. I hide behind my words, my very close friends know this they can tell depending on how much I talk or don't what is going on. At this time I am really struggling with relationships with some friends but I just don't know how to fix them. As I have said before I have been focusing on relationships that are not important in my life and lacking on others. Since I said that I have been working very hard to pay more attention to these relationships and build them back up but how can I do that when I feel that I am being closed off. I hate that my choice to build a new relationship have affected the ones I have had for so long and value so much. I just wish I could have both friendships I know what friendships to choose but the other is hard to let go. This decision is going to take some time for me on what to do. In the ideal situation I could maintain all relationships. I feel that with this situation that would be any persons ideal.

So I thought I would share about my crazy week to come with all of you. I have no idea how I am finding the time ever to blog which would explain my absence along with my trip to myrtle beach. The marching band headed down to Coastal Carolina this weekend. It was a great time with my marching band family. But when I got home from this very exciting trip I remembered all of the very unexciting work I have ahead of me this weekend. But all of this work will pay off very soon hopefully.

The list of things I have to do this week

#1 STUDY for Sophomore Hearing
(Children of a Lesser God consuming my life)

#2 Production Journal

#3 Do Sophomore Hearing

#4 Study for theory test

#5 Dramatic Presentation

#6 Take theory test

#7 Memorize Music

#8 Bring up my aural skills grade

#9 Write Speech

#10 Clean my messy apartment because my mother is coming into town

#11 Pick mom up from the airport

#12 Celebrate her Birthday

#13 GAME TIME

#14 Finally head to Ohio

#15 and so much MORE

What if? Will not be a question in my life

Currently listening to the new Kid Cudi CD which is awesome BTW
So I know I have not blogged in a couple of days and I apologize for that. But if I could think of the words to describe how stressed I am right now I would write them to you. Everything in my life is coming up fast and furious. I have wind ensemble auditions, Sophomore hearing, my theater history paper, my basic acting speech, production journal, coastal, voice lesson music, part writing homework, and to top it all off I am sick :( so pretty much I don't even know how I am finding time to do this now except I felt guilty for not posting for so many days. I am still reading that awesome book my life group sent me though. It and music are my little piece of sanity in this crazy time. Soul Cravings my Erwin Raphael McManus is a book I suggest you all pick up and read. It is a religious book but not forceful it just talks about problems we all go through. It is broke up into sections intimacy, love,ambition,destiny, origin, meaning, life, and death. Currently I am still at the very beginning in intimacy but already feel like I have learned so much. Many of the pages are almost fully highlighted out of excitement for the awesome things the author has to say. A passage that I love from it so far is ,
"Some girls want flowers; others, chocolates; others, meaningful conversation; all different ways of trying to get to the same place-to be loved, to find love. So some people pray five times a day facing east; others pray rosaries; still others bring offerings, light candles, and memorize incantations; all for the same purpose-to gain acceptance from their creator."
This is so true everyone wants the same things and to be loved and accepted they just go about it in a different way. Its just like the Ingrid Michaelson song Everybody.
"We have fallen down again tonight
in this world it's hard to get it right.Trying to make your heart fit like a glove
when what it needs is love love love.
Everybody Everybody wants to love
Everybody Everybody wants to be loved"I love this song and last night while watching Letters to Juliet at the guard party at the Kerr's house I realized that this point is completely true. In the movie this old woman goes on a search to find the only man she ever loved. She reminisces through the movie on the what if? What if she would have never left him? What if she had married him? What if? What if? What if? I decided that I want to be loved but I don't want to live a what if? I feel like through high school I made so many relationship mistakes and guess what? I don't think what if? for those anymore. I am just so over them. But now moving on into my adult life here at Liberty I don't want to what if. I want to say I went for it. Just like in the movie they let nothing stand in the way of the possibility of love. I know there will be obstacles and hard work but eventually I will find my one and never have to wonder what if?

soul cravings

currently listening to listen to your heart

So today was a day full of marching band. I went to guard this morning at 8:00am arrived late due to a uniform fiasco and was with the marching band till 7. Fiasco being my uni-tard broke and had to be safety pinned together, welcome to my life. It was military emphasis and we did a special half time show complete with a performance of God Bless the USA by Chucky B. I will admit I totally cried during that and the armed forces medley. I think that patriotism is something that can strike that sort of emotion in anyone. As I was walking off the field I had tear streaming down my freezing face. This would be because it was bitter cold all day today and I had to wear, Guess what? A guard uniform brrrr. I also got my jacket today from high peak after finding my old one last night.I am sad you can not take back an embroidered jacket, I am pretty sure not to many people have the same name as me or would want a colorguard wind suit jacket lol. Then I rushed home quickly prepared dinner, tided up any messes in the apartment, shower, and had some friends over to study.

Have you ever wanted something so bad that you convince yourself that there are no negatives in what you want? I am reading this awesome book called soul cravings and it has made me realize some things. A I have realized that not everything we think is of God is of God. B guys are mean except your father, and C that it is easy to convince yourself something is right even when it's not. Which brings me to what this book is doing for me. It is teaching me to chill out. I realized that I often give awesome advice to friends but I don't ever follow it myself. Just like last night I was talking to a friend and I gave them advice to just not worry about a relationship just let whatever happens happens don't close your mind to something happening but don't force whats not there. I really hope that as I keep reading this book I find a solution to this problem of mine. I feel like my brain and heart are running 1,000 miles in the opposite direction because my brain is saying run away from hurt and my heart is saying run into love. Which one do I listen to, I sure wish it was as easy as a DHT song.

Today was definitely an awesome day all together and I can't wait for what this week has in store A.K.A studying for my sophomore hearing some more. Than this weekend I am going to Coastal!!!!

It's Britney @#$%&

Currently listening to Laura Viers

Today was a pretty awesome day I got a lot accomplished including learning 2/3rds of my wind ensemble audition piece. I want to share a video with you all today. I have been blabbing a lot on here about my friends and It's epic Halloween costumes, the life cycles of Britney spears. http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1481121991546&notif_t=video_tag
This link is to the video of our performance lol. This is the reason that I love my friends they will act crazy with me. I also found out that I won't have to freeze tomorrow night because the lovely people at high peak have made me another jacket because mine magically went missing. I did get some bad news today though, I found out worrying about the 2 classes I have been worrying about was rightly so. I am pretty much failing aural skills and music theory. It is times like these I regret not paying attention in high school when I was in theory. Luckily there are many people willing to help me succeed including my teacher who so kindly let me make up an assignment!! I sure hope through hard work I can bring this up. This month is gonna be crazy. Wind ensemble auditions, Sophomore hearing, and the race to the end of the semester. I am praying that God will help me succeed in all this. I know with him on my side and hard work I should have nothing to worry about. Also thanksgiving break is right around the corner yeah for family, friends, and work!!!!!

not skipping out

Currently listening to Elton John

Today was awesome I got a package from my young adult group which was so sweet. I had been having a pretty discouraging day including not having time to get ready this morning. That may not sound important to all of you but being in a t-shirt and hoodie with tennis shoes and no makeup on is one of the worst feelings in the world for me. Not only was that bad but then I decided after my freezing crazy band practice that I was going to go to dinner with Kristen before I went and practiced contra tonight. The dinner was awesome don't misread into that it was when we got the check it go bad. I reached into my purse only to realize my wallet was not in my purse, awesome right? Not so much, I had to tell the server who got the manager to see if I could just give them the credit card number. Guess what that is against applebees policy but listen to what was not against policy. The manager let me leave and trusted that I would go home and return to pay with not taking my name or holding anything collateral. Apparently I have a trusting face which luckily proved a good theory because I did return for all of you who were wonder. And not only did I pay but I also tipped, thank you very much. And because we returned a payed the manager gave us coupons for free appetizers. Who knew that loosing your wallet and being irresponsible would result in this manager A. trusting me and B. giving me free stuff. Maybe I should loose my wallet more often. Good thing my face reflects my personality???

rehearsed future

Currently listening to Lucky

So today I register for classes it is hard to believe I am already a junior. I remember freshman year so well it does not seem that long ago. I am freaking out though because as I get older classes and requirement get harder and my work ethic gets smaller. I am working so hard to pass all my classes right now 2 of which I am really struggling in. I am hoping that I can bring them up before the end of the semester I just can not afford to fail a class. I also realize that sophomore hearing is nearing. I have been preparing for it ever since last semester but that does not make it any easier or less nerve wrecking. What if I go in and completely forget all the information I studied or my monologue this is what we would call in theater my worst possible rehearsed future lol best possible rehearsed future I pass with flying colors because I remember all of my hard work and blow everyone away. Wildest dreams I get a letter stating that my score was switched last year and I actually passed....hey, I said wildest dreams right :) Anyway if you can't tell by me attempting to mask my fear in theater humor I am so nervous. Last year I did my sophomore hearing and failed by like 2 points. This year my hope is that I have improved enough for 2 points. I am using the same show and monologue but that does not make it any easier because now I have to break old habits, like not sounding like a news caster haha :) Well enough of my nervous rambling. Today was wonderful I got to get my Toms which I can't wear till Christmas, go to starlight, and just study with friends all was well except the whole doing poorly in 2 classes, I can not wait to see what tomorrow has to come!!! 2 more hours till I register for classes then I can sleep!!!!

like a bright star in heaven that lights our way home like the flower that shattered the stone

Currently listening to Olivia Newton John

Today was alright I woke up early to do what I thought would be easy homework....wrong....this junk took me a whole hour :( I just wish I was better at music theory. Anyway, tonight I get to register for classes. I am so excited to get my junior year finished. Next year I will be a senior status!!!! Even though just like many people at Liberty I will be here for an extra year. It was nice to go back today to school and feel refreshed, like I had a break, even though a weekend home is just never long enough. I realized that break is only 18 classes away!!!! I can't wait to go home for a few weeks and see my family for the holidays. I am just fighting with the idea of marching band going into post season play. As you all know just thinking about my last game brings me to tears. Well, I have prepared myself emotionally for the 20th to be my last game ever. This has been a process emotionally for sure, that is why I am worried about post season. I am preparing myself for that last game the 20th and for it to feel like my heart is being ripped out at the end of that game. It would just be a tease for my heart to go post season it would be like dragging out the pain because then I won't actually know when my last game is. I feel like leaving guard for me is a lot like a breakup in a relationship it is going to take time for me to heal. I also hope this is one of those breakups were you can still be friends lol I hope that I can still pick up a flag and write or just have fun. I need to keep guard in my life in anyway I can.


Flower that Shattered the Stone

The Earth is our mother just turning around
With her trees in the forest and roots underground
Our father above us who's sigh is the wind
Paint us a rainbow without any end

As the river runs freely the mountain does rise
Let me touch with my fingers and see with my eyes
In the hearts of the children of pure love still roams
Like a bright star in heaven that lights our way home
Like the flower that shattered the stone

Sparrows find freedom beholding the sun
In the engine and beauty were all joined in one
I reach out before me and look to the sky
Then I hear someone whisper its something pass by

As the river runs freely the mountain does rise
Let me touch with my fingers and see with my eyes
In the hearts of the children of pure love still roams
Like a bright star in heaven that lights our way home
Like the flower that shattered the stone
Like a bright star in heaven that lights our way home
Like the flower that shattered the stone


I always love to listen to this Olivia Newton John's lullaby album. My mom used to sing these lullabies to me when I was born and throughout my whole life. Still when I can't sleep I will turn on this soundtrack and just lay there. It is one of my comforts.

driving is good for the soul

Currently listening to Maria Mena

I used to hate driving but now I love it. Driving is so relaxing just going down the turnpike with the windows open, the chilly breeze blowing in, and an epic mix of music blasting you have so much time to think about what is going on in your life. What I thought about was disconnection. I feel like I have been disconnecting myself from people, not on purpose but just because things happen. Recently I have been letting some friends down by, what else but, overbooking myself. I absolutely hate making a promise and not keeping it. So now I have to put back together things that I may or may not have messed up and stop focusing on relationships that don't matter. I need to focus on the people and friends that I love. Obsessing over one relationship can ruin all your others so my goal for this week is to obsess over all of the ones that matter instead of just on one relationship that does not.
Well I am home back in the Burg with my car!!!! A few weeks ago my car went home for some repairs and I went to go pick it up. It looks awesome!! You can not even tell there was anything wrong with it except the key mark that will be there till the end of time. The inside of my car has never looked so awesome and clean because my awesome family had it detailed. I can not even explain how awesome it was just to get away and go home for the weekend. I did not get to do everything I wanted to while I was home but, what I did get to do was totally worth the drive. Pretty much I just spent time with my family who I have been missing so much and luckily got to have a cousin date with my cuz. I also made it home to go to my little brothers Birthday party. I was so glad to get to celebrate with him even though it was not on his actual Birthday. Thank the Lord for long drives and going home.

Daughtry - Home

Ohio, Ohio, OOOOHHHIIIIIOOOOOO

Currently listening to Pink Raise your Glass

So spur of the moment trip to Ohio was totally worth the 7 hours I was in the car. Tonight I got to have a fun night with my little brother. I have missed him so much and he always knows how to make me laugh. We were driving home tonight and he yells out ghost ride the whip and throws his car in reverse, this is why I miss Ohio and him so much. Also I had such a relaxing time in the car ,I needed that, I was able to just sing at the top of my lungs, roll down the windows, and enjoy beautiful Virginia in the fall. All the trees were perfectly tinted red, orange, and yellow. All the different shades of these colors were amazing and painted a beautiful landscape for me to enjoy on my way home. So far this weekend trip is a success, tomorrow morning I am going to meet my cousin for an early lunch before she goes to work and I can't wait. Then Sunday I get to go see all my family while we celebrate my little little brothers birthday!!! I am so glad I made this trip!!!! Yeah to making my own fall break!!!!


Why I love this random weekend


#1 The cold- I love that Ohio got the memo that it does not need to be 80 degrees out. Yeah Circle K coffee #2 Brother sister dates- I love my little brother he is a stitch#3 Getting to just sit around and talk to my family- so much better than skype#4 Gifts- Even if I don't get them till Christmas#5 Getting to see my Best Friend- It has not happened yet but it will

Happiness - You Are A Good Man Charlie Brown

Happiness is morning and evening daytime nighttime too

Happiness is morning and evening daytime nighttime too, for happiness is anyone or anything at all that's loved by you!!!!

Found a fortune

So I wonder if it counts if you find a fortune and it does not come from the cookie. The other day I swear there was nothing in the floor when I sat down and before I got up I found a little slip of paper. I read it and it said that you have a great month ahead of you. I was super excited, not that I believe in fortunes being the end all be all of what happens in my life but it just made me really encouraged. I have convinced myself that this fortune is so true this month is going to be awesome and I already have plans as to what will be in this awesome month.

What awesome things will happen this month

#1 I will get the thing I want most


#2 I will bring my grades up in theory and aural skills


#3 I won't get sick


#4 I will pass my sophomore hearing


#5 I will wake up for all my classes

Someone to watch over me

Currently listening to The Sound of Music

Sorry for not posting yesterday I was definitely planning on it but I feel asleep at 9. I know I am lame lol but today I am currently watch the Oprah sound of music special :) Last night I cooked dinner for a bunch of friends which is pretty much my favorite thing to do. I am a hostess. I love to clean my house, cook, and serve people. I just love giving people a place to go off campus and just have fun. Hopefully I succeeded. I am so excited to be taking a spur of the moment trip home tomorrow. I can not wait for this 6 hour car ride to be over and to see my family I miss them all so much. Especially my little brothers since I have not seen them in a while. Also there has been so many questions running through my mind right now. It just seems like nothing is going right, right now and the only escape I have is music. I love knowing that no matter what happens or how upset I am music will always be there. I was so glad to go in my voice lesson today after a stressful day of running out of gas and being late to class and just vent through my songs. I love how musical theater is so expressive and allows a person to put all of their emotion into the meaning of the lyrics. One of my songs that has really been sticking with me is a classic.

"Someone to Watch Over Me"

There’s a saying old, says that love is blind
Still we’re often told, "seek and ye shall find"
So I’m going to seek a certain lad I’ve had in mind

Looking everywhere, haven’t found him yet
He’s the big affair I cannot forget
Only man I ever think of with regret

I’d like to add his initial to my monogram
Tell me, where is the shepherd for this lost lamb?

There’s a somebody I’m longin’ to see
I hope that he, turns out to be
Someone who’ll watch over me

I’m a little lamb who’s lost in the wood
I know I could, always be good
To one who’ll watch over me

Although he may not be the man some
Girls think of as handsome
To my heart he carries the key

Won’t you tell him please to put on some speed
Follow my lead, oh, how I need
Someone to watch over me

Christina Perri - Jar of Hearts Official Video

JAR OF HEARTS


I know I can't take one more step towards you
Cause all that's waiting is regret
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most

I learned to live half a life
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

I learned to live half a life
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are

And it took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?

Listening to Everybody by Inrid Michaelson

So today's blog is another total it would happen to me moment lol so this morning when I went into school at 8:00 half of the rot lot was coned off and luckily for me there was one spot left in the front that had not been marked off but there was a car halfway in my spot but I parked a little crooked and went into to class. When I came back out at the end of my day to my car I found 2 really awesome notes. At first I was super mad about them but then I just could not stop laughing Really? we are in college? I had no freaking idea because last time I checked adults don't leave notes on peoples cars like a 5 year old. I love rude and inconsiderate people. Other than this awesome ending to my day today was pretty good I had some tears tonight because I was reminded again that this is my last season of guard :( Tomorrow I am so excited I have Hayfest and my group is so ready to do our life cycle of Britney Spears. My baby one more time costume is super awesome and I am so excited to bust it out and our epic mashup of Britney music.
:)Also for those of you who have not realized I put the music I am listening to at the top of every blog post I make. And today I am in an extremely musical mood. Maria Mena is an artist that I am loving right now thanks to an awesome friend for sending her my way!!!!

Your Glasses Lyrics

What could you possibly see in me? Is my soul hung out to dry? I think my dysfunctional family has shaped it throughout my life. What could you possibly like in me? Do you like my ability to bend? I think my fear of intimacy has shaped the time we spend. No it's not you, it's me and it's not us, it's them and it's not her, it's just the way she moves you? and she kisses harder than me, oh she kisses harder than me. And I've always looked in through your glasses, but all I could see, is the specter of me reflected the empty shell of me, the empty shell of me. What could you possibly love in me? Is it the way I wear my smile? It hangs from the tip of my tongue you see, oh this might take awhile. No it's not you, it's me and it's not us, it's them sure it's not her, it's just the way she moves you? and she kisses harder than me, oh she kisses harder than me. And I've always looked in through your glasses, but all I could see, is the specter of me reflected the empty shell of me, the empty shell of me. ooooooh, ooooh- aahhh, me, oooooh, oooh, me- ooooh ooooh, me- oh, oh, oh, oh, ooooooh And I've always looked in through your glasses, but all I could see, is the specter of me reflected the empty shell of me, the empty shell of me. And I've tried to look in through your glasses, but all I could see, was the specter of me reflected, the empty shell of me, the empty shell of me. :)

5 quotes for the day


"I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles."
— Audrey Hepburn

I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death
Philippians 1:20

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.
Oscar Wilde

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." — Marilyn Monroe

I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.
C.S Lewis

family, friends, and fantastic dresses

FAMILY, FRIENDS, AND FANTASTIC DRESSES

currently listening to death cab for cutie

Today I woke up missing my family. There are days when I just want to bring Columbus here and that day was most definitely today so I kept myself busy like I do on these days. I was happy to get a phone call from Mom and Grandma and got to text Daddy, I was so excited to hear from my cousin too. But I had to do something that I absolutely hate doing cancel on something I have really been wanting to do. I have been so excited because my friend Beth had asked me to be a walk on in one of her episodes of Lynchburg 24502. I was so excited but at the last minute I had to cancel due to some health issues. I was super sad because I have been begging her for a while to put me in the show and now I feel like I have let her down and I hate letting people down. But if I did not take care of this now I would not have been able to go to school in the morning:( on the upside before I started feeling to horrible today I accomplished a lot I got to hang out with one of my girls that I have not been able to hang out with in so long. Me and Miss. Emily just chatted, cooked, and caught up on each others lives. I have missed that girl so much we meet freshman year and have been friends ever since. I love the kind of friends that you know will always be there even if you don't see them for months you can meet up catch up and be right back to were you were before. I also got to got to shop for a bit with Sara for some wedding planning society cloths. I got the most awesome dress!!!! So I have to say this was an awesome Sunday that is now ending in watching my favorite movie Devil Wears Prada with 2 of my favorite girls Ashley and Shara who are tolerating my drugged state. I am also praying for Kristen and missing my best friend ever Kimmy. Compared to 2 days ago today was very eventful!!!!!


TOP 5 THINGS I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO

#1 Thanksgiving #2 When its cold enough to wear a scarf every day #3 Seeing my best friend #4 Getting to work when I go home #5 CHRISTMAS