Well tomorrow is my last game. It is hard to believe this is really happening. Today at my last practice I gave the devotional to the band. While sharing what God had laid on my heart I found myself fighting back tears with these words. "As of right now this is my last year in marching band and tomorrow is my last game. I find myself asking the question is there life after band??? And honestly I don't know. I mean this has been my life for 9 years." As I said those words I could feel myself loosing it but I pulled it together. Band means so much to me the friendships and memories I have built here are irreplaceable. I spoke on courage to the band because it is something I am struggling with right now and just all the time to be honest. I may not seem like a timid person but really I am. A lot of my life is driven by fear because I am an over thinker and never want to offend or disappoint anyone. I encouraged the band to live by Philippians 1:20, "I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed but I will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ is exalted in my body whether that be through triumph or defeat." This verse drives me on a daily basis to know that I do not have to fear and God is always in control no matter what the situation is. So as I leave this safety net and move into my next year without band I will not fear. Because God did not call us to be that way he called us to take courage in him and stand against our enemies. Although we have safety in numbers I am confident that I can stand alone in Christ as well. I have no idea how I will behave tomorrow after my last show, my guess is inconsolable, but what I do know is that I will go on and come off without fear in my heart.
Also to explain the title every time I get really bad news it is tradition for me to sit on the 50 and cry. I know that is weird but it has become a safe place for me. So if you see me on the 50 don't worry the tears are tears of accomplishment.
Also to top off this broken heart I did not pass my Sophomore hearing because I bombed my monologue and interview. I am not sure what come over me but I delivered the worst most memo dramatic performance of my life. I guess the pressure of the rest of my life just bleed over into that. I will share more about it later on the upside my family was here to comfort me the next day and there is always a second shot next semester.
Also to explain the title every time I get really bad news it is tradition for me to sit on the 50 and cry. I know that is weird but it has become a safe place for me. So if you see me on the 50 don't worry the tears are tears of accomplishment.
Also to top off this broken heart I did not pass my Sophomore hearing because I bombed my monologue and interview. I am not sure what come over me but I delivered the worst most memo dramatic performance of my life. I guess the pressure of the rest of my life just bleed over into that. I will share more about it later on the upside my family was here to comfort me the next day and there is always a second shot next semester.
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