What if? Will not be a question in my life

Currently listening to the new Kid Cudi CD which is awesome BTW
So I know I have not blogged in a couple of days and I apologize for that. But if I could think of the words to describe how stressed I am right now I would write them to you. Everything in my life is coming up fast and furious. I have wind ensemble auditions, Sophomore hearing, my theater history paper, my basic acting speech, production journal, coastal, voice lesson music, part writing homework, and to top it all off I am sick :( so pretty much I don't even know how I am finding time to do this now except I felt guilty for not posting for so many days. I am still reading that awesome book my life group sent me though. It and music are my little piece of sanity in this crazy time. Soul Cravings my Erwin Raphael McManus is a book I suggest you all pick up and read. It is a religious book but not forceful it just talks about problems we all go through. It is broke up into sections intimacy, love,ambition,destiny, origin, meaning, life, and death. Currently I am still at the very beginning in intimacy but already feel like I have learned so much. Many of the pages are almost fully highlighted out of excitement for the awesome things the author has to say. A passage that I love from it so far is ,
"Some girls want flowers; others, chocolates; others, meaningful conversation; all different ways of trying to get to the same place-to be loved, to find love. So some people pray five times a day facing east; others pray rosaries; still others bring offerings, light candles, and memorize incantations; all for the same purpose-to gain acceptance from their creator."
This is so true everyone wants the same things and to be loved and accepted they just go about it in a different way. Its just like the Ingrid Michaelson song Everybody.
"We have fallen down again tonight
in this world it's hard to get it right.Trying to make your heart fit like a glove
when what it needs is love love love.
Everybody Everybody wants to love
Everybody Everybody wants to be loved"I love this song and last night while watching Letters to Juliet at the guard party at the Kerr's house I realized that this point is completely true. In the movie this old woman goes on a search to find the only man she ever loved. She reminisces through the movie on the what if? What if she would have never left him? What if she had married him? What if? What if? What if? I decided that I want to be loved but I don't want to live a what if? I feel like through high school I made so many relationship mistakes and guess what? I don't think what if? for those anymore. I am just so over them. But now moving on into my adult life here at Liberty I don't want to what if. I want to say I went for it. Just like in the movie they let nothing stand in the way of the possibility of love. I know there will be obstacles and hard work but eventually I will find my one and never have to wonder what if?